Fond Memories

When I was in high school, I had the good fortune to be in a barbershop quartet. Barbershops in high schools were rare at that time and we always cleaned up in the state music contests. We called our group the Schoolhouse Four and we were able to book engagements and make a little cash. We even performed at the high school staff's Christmas dinner.

One day, the principal called us in his office and he said that we weren't allowed to keep any money we made from our singing because we were a school sponsored group. We were flabbergasted. He then said, "Of course, if you have any expenses such as mileage or upkeep on the car, you can be reimbursed for that. Obviously he had been ordered to tell us that but he gave us a way out of the situation. We were always able to claim mileage, expenses for music books, outfits, etc.

From left: Edwin Fenstermacher, me, John Harsough, and Scott King.

Fish Tales

When I was about 11 years old, I was fishing with a bamboo pole near the shore of Koontz Lake. I saw bubbles moving on the surface and could see something moving, so I placed the worm and bobber in front of the bubbles. The pole bent farther than I had ever seen it and I knew I had something big. I used all my strength to lift the fish up and place it on the shore. Because I was near the shore, this was easy- and probably saved the line from breaking.

The fish was a carp and was almost as long as I was tall. Because my mother took the picture, this is one fish tale that is believable. Please ignore the clashing plaid clothes. I obviously had no taste in clothes.

Brush With Death

There are two incidents in my life where I came close to loosing my life. Curiously enough, one of my friends was present at both events.

The first incident I was with two friends approaching US 6 and US 31 in an old black car that was about 20 years old. The light was red for us and suddenly my friend yelled out, "What in the world?!" He began pumping the brake and nothing happened. The brakes had gone out and we were heading into a busy intersection. Just as we came to the intersection, the left turn light turned green and my friend swirved the car to the left. We finally coasted to a stop at the side of the road. God changes traffic lights too.

The second incident was when we were all returning home from church camp one summer in the 1970's. My friend's mother was driving. This family is known to fall asleep at the wheel. Several of them have been involved in serious crashes because of this. His mother hadn't had much sleep the night before and I was in the front passenger seat. When we were suddenly in the left lane on a two-lane highway and were nearing a head-on collision, I glanced over at her and she was asleep! I quickly grabbed the steering wheel and turned us back to our lane just in time. After that I kept my eye on her and I had to grab the steering wheel two additional times. I was glad to get home that day.

I nearly killed someone myself one day. While visiting this same friend when he lived in northeast Indiana (Is this guy jinxed?) during the winter I was going over a bridge on US 6 and suddenly the VW bug in the left lane began spinning around in circles in front of me. The car hit the guard rail and his body flew out the driver's door and slid on the pavement in front of my car. I didn't want to brake hard and lose control because of the ice, so I steered over as far as I could go. As I went by him, I felt the car go over something. My heart sunk. I ran back to the man and saw that I had only run over his hand. His hand was bloody and two of his fingers looked smashed. He was stunned. I stayed until the state police arrived. This is a good reason to use your seat belts!

Funniest Memories

I think my funniest memories have involved birds. It all began when I was in Ireland on an island next to castle ruins. I suddenly had the urge and asked if there was a place to go to the restroom. Someone told me there was one near the edge of the cliff. I followed the path down to a small building made with stones. At the top of the entrance was a nesting sea gull. As I tried to enter the restroom, it kept swooping down on me. It finally dropped a load of bird poop on me with amazing accuracy. I felt like I was in an Alfred Hitchcock film.

Several years later I was attending school in Pittsburgh. I frequently went to the park to eat lunch. As in most city parks, there were pigeons. I observed a lady covered with pigeons on her head, shoulders, and arms. She was feeding them. I decided to feed a pigeon myself with what was left of my McDonald's hamburger bun. I placed the piece of bun on my shoulder and the pigeon jumped up on my shoulder. As with the sea gull, the pigeon dropped a load on my shoulder. I didn't realize it until I returned to school and fellow students were grossed out.

Several years still I was sitting on the sun deck of our summer cottage on Koontz Lake. I was telling my best friend at the time about my experiences with birds and how they loved to relieve themselves on me. As I was telling him this, a big glob of bird poop dropped on my lap. A bird in the tree above me let loose. My friend practically fell on the floor with laughter.

My last bird story was when I was helping a college classmate move into an apartment in Indianapolis. There was a pond with swans in the back. She told me that the swans served as guard dogs (I thought she was joking). I went in the back to admire the graceful swans. One of them came up on the shore and walked toward me. I thought, "Isn't that nice, a graceful swan is coming up to me." Suddenly the swan spread its wings, opened its mouth wide and let out a hiss and jumped into a gallop. I was surprised and began to jog away. After jogging around to the front of the apartment building, I thought I was in the clear. I glanced back and the swan was ready to chomp on my backside. I took off in a run toward our car. My friends, who had observed the whole thing, locked the doors to the car and laughed as I ran around the car to escape the swan.

In Forrest Gump, he says, "Stupid is as stupid does." One thing for sure, with swans, it is NOT "graceful is as graceful does."

Most Embarrassing Memories

I have many embarrassing moments (unfortunately), but there is one that stands out. I was about 10 years old and working on the boys clubhouse that was in the backyard hedge row. This was a community project with many boys across town helping to build it.

One day I was working inside the clubhouse and suddenly didn't hear any noise outside. Up to that point one could hear the hammers pounding and laughter. I stood up to look out the window to see why everything went strangely silent and as soon as I stood up I felt a pin pricking sensation by my groin. I had felt that many times before and immediately knew I was being stung. Everyone had run away because the pounding had angered a swarm of bees. The bee had crawled up my leg into my shorts and when I stood up, the pressure of the shorts on the bee angered it.

Instead of dropping my drawers in the privacy of the clubhouse, I ran outside to get away. I suddenly realized that the only way to get rid of the bee was to drop my drawers and all around me were neighbor girls. My two choices were: run inside the house and be stung another 10 times (risking the release of the bee in the house) or get embarrassed and get rid of the bee immediately. I went ahead and dropped my shorts.

No one knew what was going on so they all thought I was flashing everyone. After the bee rushed out, I had to explain what happened. Needless to say, the laughter commensed at my expense.

Early Memories

From what people tell me, my childhood memories are better than most. My earliest memory is when I was about 3 years old. The year was around 1961. My parents took my sister and I in the station wagon to a drive-in theater. It was a double feature. My sister and I were supposed to see the first feature and then fall asleep so my parents could watch the second feature, Psycho. I have no idea what the first feature was, but I remember popping up my head above the back seat to watch many parts of Psycho. The parts that really stood out for me was the background music, the car being sunk in the pond, and the private investigator being slashed on the staircase. No, my mother made sure I didn't see the famous shower scene.

This movie perhaps helped promote my interest in monster movies and magazines later on in my childhood.